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Smumcher Rezitol - Enrique

I wish I had a little ass, like Enrique Iglesiass.
I wish I didn't have this big fat ass.
It's not very much like Enrique Iglesias's ass.

I could get all the girls, I could be number one in the charts.
I wouldn't even have to play the guitar parts!
Someone else who could play piano could play it all for me.
And all of the women would give me their money and I'd take it freely.

I just wish I had more talent, and a bit more of a spanish voice.
I wish I couldn't play the guitar, I wish I could play nothing.
And I wish my ass was a little bit smaller and I didn't just have a six pack of Harp.
And I wish all the women in the world would buy my records.

I don't want my fat ass, I want a thin Enrique Iglesias.
I want to be number one, I don't want to be no one.
I wish that I could do nothing like Enrique Eglasiass,
But I've got a big fat ass.

Smumcher Rezitol - Funky Bass Player

I was born in London town, where the women are so ugly.
Funky bass player Dave, funky bass player Dave,
Play, play that funky bass.

Lauren I wanna do you in the ass,
Though I know that you'll say no way,
Get that diseased thing away from me.
Lauren I know that you wanna do me in the ass,
I know that you'll say no way,
Get that diseased thing away (hey) from me.

Oh yeah,
In London town there's lots of whores, and I like to pay them.
But not my Lauren oh, she wont take any money from me.

Play that funky bass. Oh Dave, yeah Dave, Dave play the funky bass,
I know that you like to.

And I got a job in a hospital, and I like to run people over with my little fork lift.
I particularily like the most infirm ones,
and I spilled the bed pans all over myself. ((masked by uncontrollable laughter))
There's another guy, and he's serious about his work,
and he don't like me 'cus I'm a stupid fucking cunt.
And I'm a real bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh.

Lauren I've lots of needs and you don't fulfill any of them.
And this here is a really hard song to sing and I really good at singing.
Except I'm not very good at playing the bass I'm not good at playing the bass,
I just wank off, I wank off.